Skateboards

Upon recent reflection I have realized that I will never be a professional skateboarder. At least there is still hope for a career in stunt car driving. My troubles with skateboards started at a young age. As a child I had the tendency to do things that usually resulted in getting injured in some way. At some point I think my mom possibly quit worrying about me.

I'm almost certain that watching Back to the Future had a lot to do with me thinking that skateboards were the coolest thing since grilled cheese sandwiches. And lets be honest, grilled cheese sandwiches are pretty god-damned nifty. Luckily we just so happened to have a skateboard laying around the place.

How hard could skateboarding be? Certainly it couldn't be near as challenging as a bike or roller skates? Wrong. Right as I was getting ready to jump on the skateboard and start having the time of my life the lamest possible thing happened. I stepped on the end of it and it came flying up towards me and hit me right in the forehead. Naturally I started wailing in pain. My brother was there and he went running in to tell my mom that I had an awful goose egg. Remember what I said about my mom being desensitized to my injuries? At first she said "oh she'll be fine" thinking it was a little scrape. What she didn't realize was that there was a protruding mass of pain forming on my forehead.

I came in and my mom saw my impressive goose egg and made me feel all better and happy again. You would think that the mass of purple situated on my face would have taught me the proper way to get on a skateboard or maybe just to avoid them all together...

Not ten minutes after getting hit in the face I went out and did the same exact thing, with the same exact result. Fifteen years or so later I seem to have forgotten this experience. Mary and I had recently acquired the raddest skateboard imaginable.

Its name is Christine and features a dueling dragon and white tiger. Can you think of a more bad ass way to commute? I think not. Mary, Holly, Chris and I decided it would be a great idea to take Christine over to the skate park across the street one night. Earlier Chris and I were having a wine sodden Will and Grace marathon so maybe the timing wasn't particularly great. At first I was sensible and went down the ramps sitting on Christine.

This went down smoothly but I was really pushing my luck. All I was going to do was try one of the small inclines, I was even going to push myself up the ramp to be extra safe. About half way up Christine when shooting backwards and I went slapping onto the cement ramp. This knocked the wind out of me and landing on my elbows and knees caused me to hobble around for the next two weeks. At least I was smart enough this time to not try going up the ramp again...

LobotoMo - Friend I I/II

Happy Birthday!

LobotoMo - Friend II

LobotoMo - Friend

LobotoMo - Big Catch

LobotoMo - Pie

Dogs of Childhood Past

The first dog I ever had was during the straight bangs and tights phase of the mid 1990s. He wasn't exactly my dog though. More or less he wandered into our yard and started eating my cat's food and decided to stay. Being the creative kid I was, I named my new Dalmatian friend Spot. 101 Dalmatians had just came out so I was thrilled with my luck. Unfortunately, it turned out that Spot wasn't all that great. His favorite activities were jumping and biting so I had to arm myself with a small tree branch while playing with him. Usually "playing" involved being drug around my yard by the hood. Poor Spot didn't last long and was taken to the pound by my mom within a week.

The first legit dog I had was Skippy, as far as dogs are concerned he was the bitches tits. I am the youngest kid in my family and at this stage I was the only one left with my parents. This wasn't so bad though, for my 11th birthday I got a golf cart. Skippy was the Chewbacca to my Han Solo if the golf cart was the Millennium Falcon, which it certainly felt like at the time.

Skippy also made a great co-agent for water gun-spy times in my back yard. I would have to say of all the things Skippy did that made him a complete legend the best had to be his relationship with the neighbor dog. Being a small fellow he had to be real clever. Our neighbors had a German Shepherd that was always on a leash by its house. Skippy went over there whenever he fancied a lady's company and had her trained to squat so he could reach. Honorable mention for great Skippy moments would have to be the time he climbed a 20 foot pine tree or when he nearly killed a mastiff.
Best. Dog. Ever.

Then there was Whiskey. Whiskey was the most pathetically amusing dog imaginable. We went to go get him shortly after poor Skip died. He wasn't exactly the best replacement Chewbacca although the resemblance to Chewy was uncanny. Skippy always knew when a tree branch was coming and would duck when riding on the golf cart with me. Whiskey on the other hand would just sit there with the same blank look as he got whipped in the face. Whiskey's low point probably came when I threw a blanket over him and watching his unsuccessful escape. After 5 minutes of not being able to find his way out he just plopped down and gave up, possibly on life as well. Despite his short comings Whiskey did indeed have some talents. Namely having the ability to jump over the fence separating him from the house to shit in my parents room only to jump back like nothing happened.

Average Times

As it turns out, observing your hamster for several hours a day does not qualify as a hobby/occupation.

Diva Hour

Recent medical studies have proven that participating in Diva Hour once daily may lead to long term health benefits.

Grandmother Willow

I don't mean to cause any alarm but I think I may have figured out an important part of the Disney Pocahontas plot..

Golden Years

Maybe it's a bit early to be thinking about such things, but I have decided what I want to do when I retire. I would like to purchase a tugboat to go narwhal watching along the coast of Greenland. I will bring along my first mate Lindsey as well.

Important Life Lessons

If there is one significant lesson I have learned while studying abroad it would be the following. No matter where I am there is not one thing I enjoy more than rotting into a black leather couch, drinking coffee and watching mediocre television programs.

The Chronicles of Sushi Cat

I would strongly advise anyone who enjoys spending a large amount of their day on a couch to play this, it has a very lava lamp-esqe appeal

http://armorgames.com/play/5379/sushi-cat